tending to gender

okay, so for tomorrow i have to construct some sort of wearable item that 'complicates gender'. everything i think of seems to either be woefully uninspired or completely tangential.

one is a jewel-encrusted belt with hotdogs tied all around it. kind of like a combo toolbelt and belly decoration, juxtaposing a shapely waist with phallic stuff all over it. kind of messy.

another idea which i think would be cute and succinct, but maybe too simple, is an apple necklace. like, taking an apple, drilling an off-center hole through it, and threading a ribbon through it. tying it prettily around a girl's neck is a simultaneous thought of a prominent adam's apple and of the female sexual imagery of fruit and desire. i like the idea of food and the body. maybe i can take a banana, smoosh it, and rub it all over one's tender skin. that would smell really good with a dash of cinnamon.

but i digress.

brainstorming impending...

stuff that's typically male:

• businessman stuff: ties, bowties, suspenders, leather belts, pinstripes, cufflinks, oxford shoes
• uniforms in general
  
• facial hair, mustaches, beards, hairiness
  
• boxer shorts, men's briefs
  
• phallus (i know i'm making a stretch, here)
  
• low voice, adam's apple
• muscular, angular form
• manly fragrance
• strength
  

stuff that's typically female:

• skirts, dresses
  
• ruffles, lace
  
• floral elements
• jewelry, frivolous adornment
• heeled shoes
• soft materials, silky, drapey
• longer hair length
• shaved skin
• fruit and flora symbolism
• sweetness
• domestic elements: apron, housedress, gloves
• particular headwear: bonnets, fancy hats
• breasts, hips, curves
  

hmmm. i don't know if i'm getting anywhere here. now that i have gloves in my head i have that awesome image in my head of elbow-length opera gloves. mmm.

you know how all those awful corporate monkeys have every known electronic device strapped to their belt? like pda + blackberry + phone + pager + camera all hanging off their waists. kind of like an futuristic sword belt, an array of all of one's tools of power. why don't women do that? is that because we don't have belts? we have more dignity? we carry everything in a bottomless bag? we like to keep a clean silhouette? it would be awesome to have something like miz lara croft, where our digital accessories were conveniently strapped to our limber thighs. think how a computer geek would quiver if he saw a lady hike up her skirt to answer her cellphone. definitely more statement-making than hunting through her bag for the umpteenth time.

more thoughts later.