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warmly, the management

threading the needle

so i'm still very much confused how this project will unfurl. i had three budding attempts to address the idea of secrecy, all of which are sort of floopy and unoriginal.

1. clothing reincarnation, clothing incognito, if you will. the idea that the memories attached to a particular object may be altered, transferred, or retained through an indistinguishable transformation of the object. you would take an object that possesses significant meaning, but because of changing circumstances you want to disguise the form. for example, say you have a sweater that was given to you by an ex. at the time, it held many fond and important memories. after the breakup, you can live without the ex but the sweater contains so much a part of yourself and your 'past life' that you dont want to throw it out. however, your current relationship sort of makes it awkward or unacceptable to wear this sweater. you may, however, be comfortable wearing the sweater incognito -- unraveling it, using the yarn for mittens and a sock, or cutting it apart for a scarf fringe, or a tablecloth. similar idea: melting down a piece of jewelry and reforming it into something new. though the material is the same, will the changed piece hold the same sort of meaning? what's changed and what's the same? sweater -> unraveled -> dyed -> reknit -> felted -> mittens. will wearing the mittens be the same as wearing the sweater? how may this secret history be public or private? process history vs. material experience. it's a different idea than, say, quilting or patchwork, where the form lends itself to asking questions about collective history and what the different materials mean.

so, if you take your favorite shirt, and put it in a blender, and make a deconstructed skirt or hat or socks, how does your perception of it change? has its previous life come to an abrupt end and a new life started? or how can the idea of continuity in materiality follow through

2. 3. okay, these are sort of lame. i'll just say 'invisible ink' or 'hidden layers' and leave it at that.

another idea hit me this afternoon. this idea of personal attachment to our clothes. the intimacy. the idea that 'my wearing this particular item of clothing is very significant because, well, it's mine and there are a lot of psychological connections to it.' it would be strange, somehow, to think of other people wearing some of our clothing. different dimensions:

- which clothes? i think it's important that the intimacy is attached to the actual object (and not a copied design or the 'same model'). the jeans with the stains, the pilled sweater, the coat-that-i-found-in-portugal. it's the feelings associated with the individual instantiation.

- which other people? would you be more uncomfortable if your intimate clothing were worn by someone you know, or by a stranger? i have a skirt that i got from my mother. would i be more twisted or resistant to having, say, a fellow medialabmate wear it one day, or a more random 'clothing swap' partner i found on the internet? does it matter if i see them in it in person? photographs? getting compliments on it from other people? finding the same pleasures in it that i do (silky lining, warm colors, unique construction)? this other life on another body -- ideas of jealousy, longing, incompatibility, or distrust in terms of what is intimately yours being adopted by someone else.

- how long? would a day be enough? a longer amount of time for the 'other's' influence to take over (either perceptible or non)? is it more i'm-missing-the-object than the-object-misses-me?

- how much should the other person know? is it enough to say 'this sweater was worn before,' and leave it at that? or something like 'this sweater is the last gift to the other person from her grandfather before he passed away'. how much of the story will affect the circumstances? maybe too much information is too much information, but ambiguity might mask the intensity of the materiality.

some fodder for thought. i really need to formulate my strategy now.

scenarios

initial thought: a secret undergarment that contains identifiable features when it's concealed or obscured, but turns up blank or with a 'decoy' appearance when it is exposed. for example, perhaps you can feel safe wearing a personally edifying but publicly embarassing undershirt, but if for any reason your sweater has to come off (temperature, force, circumstance) the shirt will not reveal its secret appearance. i guess i can try doing this with thermochromic ink or photochromic ink, but can also be something like a pattern which becomes incoherent or illegible with induced wrinkling, spinning, or vibration.

where to go from here?

secret messaging. i hate to go down the path of 'hug shirts' or 'warmth from a distance' or things like that. they're cute for a second, but then there's this weirdness emanating from the fact that a computer (yes, admittedly instructed to do so by a human, but only if you trust it as so) is hugging you and not a real person. you can argue email is also 'text on a screen' that is reflective of a real person typing it (almost all our communication is mediated), but it can carry the nuance and personality and control of the other that haptic experiences cannot (imho) recreate. cellphone vibs are potentially okay because the buzz tells you a real person is there waiting to talk to you. you also dont want monitoring systems, like getting a vib everyone time your loved one enters and exits their home.

secrets you share: something that you pass along, like an accessory, that keeps a collective secret. all those who have it in their hands for some amount of time add to the secret.

heee. you could have secret asynchronous notifications that appear only in very secret situations. for example, perhaps the inside lining of your pants turns purple if you have a new voicemail from a certain special someone (which you'd only see if you're de-pantsified). or the inner lining of one's bra. or the inside surface of a belt. secret messages in very secret *places*. on the body.

or secret *spaces*. it's only visible if you're safe in bed. or safe in the bathroom. or safe in this very hidden corner of your grandparents' attic. this haven of security. for example, maybe your pjs only have a special pattern when you're tucked in your bed, but if you bring the same pjs to sleep at lab or sleep somewhere else, they're not noticable in that secret way. it gives a special relationship to you, in clothes, in a particular location. this might be plausible only if it's you + your spaces (you can define the relationships explicitly), or if gps is really reliable and you can safely display particular things in particular areas or radius.

not only is it secret display, but also function? one guy that was surveyed wore ladies' long underwear only because the store was out of men's small sizes, and they were still warm and fit well. it can be a secret silhouette or design. for example, a bra that can turn into a unisex tank top, or briefs that can turn into boxers. now it's starting to sound like 'looks like a pump, feels like a shoe.' ai ya.

here's a scenario. someone whispers you a secret, or IMs you, or txt msgs, something that is yours alone and not meant to be shared with anyone else. you already have a mechanism to remember it, replay it in your head, save it on your cellphone, encrypt it, etc. thinking about.. 'omg i can't wash this shirt -- justin timberlake brushed against this shirt!'. or joking not to ever wash the right hand that prince charming kissed. that sort of secret event that transformed the item in the eye of the wearer, but not without any noticeable or perceptible change to outsiders. it might be nice to have something that melds this physical occurence with a secret display. example: your father hugs you and says, 'im so proud of you.' this might be a really really memorable thing. on the inside of your shirt, it might carry the traces of where you were touched or embraced, with an internally recorded date/time. recorded audio? just a breath? maybe only the sight of the trace (which fades to obscurity, but can be recalled easily) can act as simple and effective indicator of that interaction.

time for class.

defining

secret (via google):

• not open or public; kept private or not revealed; "a secret formula"; "secret ingredients"; "secret talks"
• clandestine: conducted with or marked by hidden aims or methods; "clandestine intelligence operations"; "cloak-and-dagger activities behind enemy lines"; "hole-and-corner intrigue"; "secret missions"; "a secret agent"; "secret sales of arms"; "surreptitious mobilization of troops"; "an undercover investigation"; "underground resistance"
• unavowed: not openly made known; "a secret marriage"; "a secret bride"
• communicated covertly; "their secret signal was a wink"; "secret messages"
• not expressed; "secret (or private) thoughts"
• hidden: designed to elude detection; "a hidden room or place of concealment such as a priest hole"; "a secret passage"; "the secret compartment in the desk"
• privy: hidden from general view or use; "a privy place to rest and think"; "a secluded romantic spot"; "a secret garden"
• confidential: (of information) given in confidence or in secret; "this arrangement must be kept confidential"; "their secret communications"
• something that should remain hidden from others (especially information that is not to be passed on); "the combination to the safe was a secret"; "he tried to keep his drinking a secret"
• indulging only covertly; "a secret alcoholic"
• information known only to a special group; "the secret of Cajun cooking"
• mysterious: having an import not apparent to the senses nor obvious to the intelligence; beyond ordinary understanding; "mysterious symbols"; "the mystical style of Blake"; "occult lore"; "the secret learning of the ancients"
• mystery: something that baffles understanding and cannot be explained; "how it got out is a mystery"; "it remains one of nature's secrets"
• the next to highest level of official classification for documents

i like the communicated covertly (messages), indulging covertly (fetishism), and the veil of mystery.

sworn to secrecy

so i think i have a problem space defined. just chatted with prof c for a bit and the word of the day is secret. no, really. it's 'secret.' an interesting twist about clothing is that not all of it is strictly worn as a sociological measure -- sometimes we wear clothing that we know for sure will not be seen by anyone at anytime, but still appeals to us for a particular reason or another. some examples of secrets + clothing:

• wearing a subversive or possibly controversial message or pattern underneath the public layer, to add a shield or psychologically protective layer. example: prof c wearing an 'anderson for president' shirt underneath his suit and tie when meeting the homeland security committee. it would never be exposed, though it perhaps balanced out his mental state or helped him through the event.
• wearing underwear that's particularly silly, sensual, or comfortable. there's instances of women buying luxurious or patterned or differently cut underwear. there's also wearing of 'granny underwear' on days when you don't feel like anyone will notice, or this guy here: I'm wearing black briefs. I never wear black briefs except when I know that nobody's going to see me in them. They are also warmer (at least in my view) than, say, boxers on a day like this, under jeans. So, they're perfectly sturdy designer brand boxer briefs and they look like hell, but I've got no date today, so they're safe to wear in private. Boxer briefs are much hotter.
• cellphone or pager silent/vibration mode. only the wearer has a secret notification for just them that's invisible to others. the existence of a communication issecret.

thinking of the idea of secrecy. there's a sheer rush when there's something only you (or a precious other few) know about, or even something like a joke on the world around you who has no idea. there are several elements of secrets: the acquiring of it, the harboring of it, and the possible leakage of it. it's that risky element (no matter how large or how small) that makes the experience all the more valuable or personal. if you wear a sexy underthing, even if you have no plans to show them to really anybody, it's that miniscule chance that someone may see them that gives a thrill at the back of the mind. maybe you'd be embarassed beyond belief if anyone really did see yourself in them, but it may still be an amusing fantasy to entertain.

small risk factor:
wearing dirty socks or underwear. someone asking you about an already publicly displayed thing (maybe a piece of jewelry or a pattern motif) that has an secret story.

high risk factor:
wearing embarassing or inappropriate kinds of clothing. causing others to think of you differently.

unthinkable risk factor:
wearing something that is life of death. a highly controversial statement. something that reveals something extremely secret part of identity (i.e. being exposed with a seriously secret crossdressing fetish), exposing yourself as a traitor, as a cheater (illicit relationship), something to crumble your foundation of life.

brainstorming

the results from the survey have been fantastic to read. they've confirmed my belief that we all possess neurotic relationships with our clothes. there are so many facets of this complexity, from comfort and warmth, to mood and disposition, to memory and love. i wanted to approach the sense of clothing from the psychological perspective, rather than from the usual sociological perspective (clothes as language, how we signal qualities about ourselves to each other, how we form social associations, etc.)

some themes:

the pragmatic.

comfort

convenience

the sentimental.

tokens

 My favorite thing that I am wearring is my wedding band. Its very simple, its gold, it feels nice, it reminds me of my lovely wife.

the self-conscious.

body-image

mood

perception from others

 The shirt I'm wearing, I remember got me particular compliments from a really attractive girl. Major ego boost! 

the material

color

fabric, composition

Wearing leather makes me feel cool, which makes me laugh to tell you! It indicates a bit of sensuousness, a sharp look, and prosperity.

the memory

places

found these on sale in the downtown Vancouver store one year.

this shirt has also seen me through all of europe. i wore it at a huge music festival in hungary. i remember drinking sangria with these hungarians we met. it was this perfect temperature, and dusk was falling, and the festival was on this island in the middle of the river. when i finally went to sleep last night the shirt reeked of cigarettes.

people

 I remember wearing this particular shirt when I was in a meeting and decided the people I work for are crazy. Now in the mornings, on days I put on the shirt, I'm reminded of that. Curiously.

times

 My Elephant and Castle tee shirt: It's black, it is from one my favorite NYC restaurants and it brings back memories of when I was alone (unpartnered) in my life and I found cozy places where it was okay to have a table for one. I can put on my tee shirt and think of the soft lighting, the tasty food and scrumptious deserts and the busy world of NYCity moving around outside me.

the secret

I also love my silk undershirt (even though you can't see it). It's real warm, lightweight and is this fantastic magenta color.

the inseparable

 They have taken me to hell-and-back-to-heaven again and I don't know what I'd do without them.

the invisible

personal contribution

 does my engagement ring count? it's not, to me the typical, boring ring. my husband designed it himself and it was made by a local artist. it's my third ring by her. the stone is blood free, very sparkly and he didn't pay retail for it. i feel like all of those things add up to something that on teh surface looks kind of boring and traditional, but below the surface is completely original and very me.

the unpredictable

 I remember wearing the jacket during the Media Lab sponsor week. A weak later I received a picture (by email) that one of the sponsor representatives had taken of me, without me being aware of it. It was a really nice picture!

 I found this warm PolarTec hat on the ground one day a couple of winters ago, and picked it up since it looked warm...now it's one of my favorite pieces of clothing.

survey

hey -- it's been a while.

final project season has begun. if you would fancy it, please do my survey below. it will provide one small step toward a bright future for clothing technology.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=325261587157

you just talk about yourself and your clothes. easy peasy.

later today i shall write more about the direction this is going, and plans for the next two weeks in creating the framework and the final constructed garment.

thanks for doing the survey!

joanna berzowska :: xslabs

hexagram research institute - computation arts

concordia u -- montreal

nonemissive displays (textiles) (change color / shape reaction)
soft computation (stitch/sewing/materials)
intimate tech (wearable on body)
memory-rich garments --- data and ownership -- access to memory

big issues: power control access memory

e-ink -- non luminescent

(grace colbys)

thermochromic inks: luco dye (from color to clear) / liquid crystal

~ 31 deg
high current

shimmering flower -- weaving w conductive threads -- multi layer -- jacquard loom

nitinol (material changes shape with particular arbitrary temperature)
resistive heating (pulses faster or slower) - to raise temperature
vilkas / kukkia : kinetic dresses
shape memory alloys!
autonomous action??
[FELT: thick - insulative -- can do circuitry on both sides of fabric
nature fire retardant
heavy, rigid
handfelting -- can do]
working together with material properties of the working fiber

vincent - peltier junctions - power/current for thermochromic

intimate aspects of body -- traces, connection -- human

leeches project --- modular snap - power distribution

ITP: despina papi....philosophy

gendered clothing + interaction

testing backlinks

hello.

testing this out.

my last blog post.

goodbye.

assignment 4 :: space intervention

Choose a space somewhere in the city and use your clothing or worn technology to intervene in what happens there.

view documentation [photos + videos] of the performance.